An Amazing Poem

I was reading another heart blog this morning and saw this great poem! I can't believe I have never read this before. It does a great job of describing the feelings I have experienced since hearing Colby's diagnosis.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I absolutely love this poem!! I am glad that I am able to thank God for going to Holland now! If not for Holland, I would have never experienced the past 3 wonderful years with Colby! I would have never met so many amazing heart families. I would have never made such great friends at the hospital. I would have never learned so much medical terminology. I might never have appreciated the little things in life so much. I might have never gained the amount of strength that I have gained...emotionally, physically, mentally. Jason and my relationship might not be as strong as it is now. Brody might not be the amazing kid that he is. I could go on and on and on.

Basically, without experiencing the initial heartache of going to Holland instead of Italy, I would not be who I am today and our family would not be as it is today. I cannot imagine our lives without Colby. His half of a heart makes our family whole!!! Thank you God for sending our family to Holland and for guiding us during the times we were lost!